Thoughts On Everyday Life

buttonpoetry:

Ken Arkind - “God Box” (CUPSI 2014)

"Could you make this wheelchair feel like my father’s shoulders? Invent a makeup that prevents the bruises, instead of just covering them up?"

A haunting, powerful performance from the Penmanship Books Reading at CUPSI 2014. Buy Ken’s book here.

My dear,
Find what you love and let it kill you.
Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness.
Let it kill you and let it devour your remains.
For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.
~ Falsely yours
Charles Bukowski (via kushtrimthaqi)

jfcortes:

Every night I can hear the sadness that hides in your laughter

and feel the cold at the bottom of your embrace

When we kiss, I can taste the hate

wrapped around your tongue

ready to explode inside of the first person brave enough to get close to you

So every night I find myself standing at…

mortisia:

― Clementine von Radics | Transparent

mortisia:

Clementine von Radics | Transparent

I need a magic ball that shows me the future or I need some faith

"Do not ask me how much better it is to be in love as a poet"

Andrea Gibson - The Nutritionist
2,949 plays

The nutritionist said I should eat root vegetables.
Said if I could get down thirteen turnips a day
I would be grounded, rooted.
Said my head would not keep flying away
to where the darkness lives.

The psychic told me my heart carries too much weight.
Said for twenty dollars she’d tell me what to do.
I handed her the twenty. She said, “Stop worrying, darling.
You will find a good man soon.”

The first psychotherapist told me to spend
three hours each day sitting in a dark closet
with my eyes closed and ears plugged.
I tried it once but couldn’t stop thinking
about how gay it was to be sitting in the closet.

The yogi told me to stretch everything but the truth.
Said to focus on the out breath, Said everyone finds happiness
if they can care more about what they give
than what they get.

The pharmacist said, “Lexapro, Lamicatl, Lithium, Xanax.”

The doctor said an anti-psychotic might help me
forget what the trauma said.

The trauma said, “Don’t write this poem.
Nobody wants to hear you cry
about the grief inside your bones.”

But my bones said, “Tyler Clementi dove
into the Hudson River convinced
he was entirely alone.”

My bones said, “Write the poem.”

The lamplight. Considering the river bed. 
To the chandelier of your fate hanging by a thread.
To everyday you could not get out of bed.
To the bulls eye of your wrist
To anyone who has ever wanted to die.

I have been told, sometimes, the most healing thing we can do
is remind ourselves over and over and over:
“Other people feel this too.”

The tomorrow that is coming, gone
And it has not gotten better
When you are half finished writing that letter 
to your mother that says “I swear to God I tried
But when I thought I hit bottom, it started hitting back”
There is no bruise like the bruise loneliness kicks into the spine

So let me tell you I know there are days 
it looks like the whole world is dancing in the streets 
when you break down like the doors of their looted buildings

You are not alone 
and wondering who will be convicted of the crime 
of insisting you keep loading your grief into the chamber of your shame

You are not weak just because your heart feels so heavy
I have never met a heavy heart 
that wasn’t a phone booth with a red cape inside
Some people will never understand 
the kind of superpower it takes for some people to just walk outside
Some days my smile looks like the gutter of a falling house

But my hands are always holding tight to the ripcord of believing
A life can be rich like the soil
Can make food of decay
Can turn wound into highway
Pick me up in a truck with that bumper sticker that says 
“It is no measure of good health to be well adjusted to a sick society.”

I have never trusted anyone 
with the pulled back bow of my spine 
the way I trusted ones who come undone at the throat
Screaming for their pulses to find the fight to pound

Four nights before Tyler Clementi jumped from the George Washington Bridge 
I was sitting in a hotel room in my own town
Calculating exactly what I had to swallow 
to keep a bottle of sleeping pills down

What I know about living is the pain is never just ours
Every time I hurt I know the wound is an echo
So I keep a listening to the moment that grief becomes a window
When I can see what I couldn’t see before,
through the glass of my most battered dream

I watched a dandelion lose its mind in the wind
and when it did, it scattered a thousand seeds.

So the next time I tell you how easily I come out of my skin, 
don’t try to put me back in,
Just say “Here we are, together at the window aching for it to all get better
but knowing a chance, there is a chance out hearts have only just skinned their knees.
Knowing there is a chance the worst day might still be coming —
let me say right now for the record, I’m still gonna be here
asking this world to dance, even if it keeps stepping on my holy feet
you — you stay here with me, okay?
You stay here with me.
Raising your bright against the bitter dark
Your bright longing
Your brilliant fists of loss”

Friends, if the only thing we have to gain in staying is each other,
My God that’s plenty
My God that’s enough
My God that is so so much for the light to give

Each of us at each other’s backs whispering over and over and over

“Live”

“Live”

“Live”

There are massive stacks of bad choices in my backyard
Buddy Wakefield